rah rahh

I just felt like rambling on my blog about something, anything. Hm.. I really hate myself for the type of person I am. I can't help it and I know it can be changed but it's so damnn hard. It has got to be one of my biggest flaws. Unfortunately, I've been too arrogant to do anything about it. I can be a really jealous person at times. Well, at unreasonable times. I won't say whennn just to keep it a secret but it's not that often. But when it is, it's stupid. I shouldn't even think about it. But why can't I get it out of my head? And I know it's not possible to sate this jealousy because it can potentially ruin many things and cause many more..
I want to talk about avoiding people. There should be a Avoiding 101 crash course or something. I don't know! I'm guessing some of you know who I'm talking about and it should not concern me but come on?? Subtle much? Hellll no. All this jumping around, running out of the room, purposely circumventing(heh heh SAT word) people gets really tiring, don't you think?
Passive-aggressive. Sounds cool doesn't it? Well, it can be such a bitch sometimes. Especially when someone who hates you(I'll explain why later) invites all my friends to her party. I'm not saying that's a bad thing but uhh thanks.
Omg. I still need to work on Angela's gift.. FML. I hate arts and crafts with a fcking passion! I totally suck at it! Well, i hope she appreciates the thought and effort I put into it and not judge it solely on the appearance of it..
I guess that's it for now. Until next time..

06.25.09

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA BANH<3

Soooo my morning really started out stressful as hell. -__- I woke up at 5 (for no apparent reason) and started to look for the right picture to use in Jessica's birthday present (total procrastinator!). I'm just happy I found one.. I ended up having to order it online from Walgreens and I fricken chose to pick it up at the one farther from my house. -__- Well, the pictures were ready to be picked up at 9 and I had to make the gift before 10:20(when Jessica leaves for whatever she wishes to do on her 18th birthday). And I had to drive my sister AND her friends to CGA and they take so fcking long to get to my house AND I had to pick one of them up. FUCKING SHIT. Well yeah, once I hit 237W at 9:30, there was traffic.. it wasn't that bad but there was still traffic and I was in a pretty shitty mood because of my sister. So I actually made it to Walgreens before 10, made the gift in the car(gahh my handwriting is SHIT), and gave it to her before 10:20 :D yay for speeding and weaving through traffic.. I think it was kinda awkward when I went to her house, I should have stayed and talked xD ahh I'm stupid. Well, I traded her season 1 of Grey's Anatomy that I borrowed for season two . I love Grey's Anatomy :] Thank you Jessica and Maggie for getting me to watch it! When I got home, I tried to jog a little.. like 15 minutes since Angela did not mention the start time of the How I Met Your Mother marathon until like 30 minutes before it began. Well yeah, I got to Albert's house and as I peered through his door window, I make eye contact with the last person that wants to make eye contact with me.. yupp. awkkkkwarddd. After I drove Albert to get food, we totally pigged out on asian food xD then the marathon started around.. 12:30 :D Gosh that show's awesome but it's wayyy too predictable. It really reminds me of the random stuff that typically runs through my mind.
Gawddd Neil Patrick Harris is fcking awesome. The sht that runs through his mind.. I wanna be like that :D LOL scary.. So after 22 episodes of season one of HIMYM and 3 episodes of season two, it was 11PM and we finally leave Albert's place. Sorry Albert that you had to buy all that food! Next time we'll all split it! It's only fair! But the food you bought sure was good. :D anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN, JESSICA

p.s. I did not forget about biting you, Maggie.

06.24.09

Time to take up blogging again! I think the last time I blogged was like.. idk when.. I should check and I'll get back to this. So anyways! In recent events, I GRADUATED. c/o MHS 2009.

Finally. Graduation day was kind of depressing because it was sprinkling at first but it went away and the sun come up. The graduation ceremony was boring as hell but the stuff that happened after made up for it! Especially the parties.. I truly am going to miss everyone, almost everyone. I'm going to miss all those I grew up with, those who helped me through my bad times, and those who shared laughs with me. Hopefully, I will keep in touch with all those close to me and not break off any friendships just because of distance. In a way, going to school at Cal Poly SLO is bad because I'm distant from all my close friends. I will have to make new ones.. And it is highly likely that I will have a white roommate. woo hoo!.. Ever since school let out, I have been going out every single day. Yay for having a car! A grey 2004 Corolla S!

Gawd I love my car. It's my personal escape. Too bad it took my dad 6 months to find it :/ After my constant nagging of course.

I should talk about Senior Ball! Senior Ball was REALLY last minute for me. I didn't even know I would go until like two weeks before it.. in spring break So I had to ask online for who would be willing to go.. I guess it's ok though! I asked Maggie and she said she could so I kinda sorta formally asked her by using edible goldfishes :D Anyways, Senior Ball was pretty fun despite the music and the terrible dish I ordered for dinner Dx Oh, we ate at Bella Mia. Omg when we got to the parking lot, Darren parked his parents SUV perfectly between two mercedes and Jessica Lim opens the door, drops her cell phone and slams her car door into the mercedes next to her to try and rescue her phone. FAIL. That was sooo hilarious though! omg.. during prom, darrick pang kept fucking following me EVERYWHERE. AHHH SO ANNOYING! Alan Hsu also danced with a black chick.. he's definitely my idol.
After prom.. I don't want to get into details because truthfully, it was all a blur. Especially ap exams.. I THINK I GOT A 3 ON BOTH MY BIO AND CALC BC EXAMS ): AH. SOOO SADDD. Btw.. I managed to barely get above a 3.0, unweighted..
Next thing isss relay for life! This year really sucked compared to last year. Not only was it cold but there were very few people participating. I had to pay $100 out of my own pocket too ): oh well, still had some good memories. I pulled an allnighter again! Mainly by walking about 4-5 hour that night on the track and staying awake by the random shit albert, dinh, and angela said. I really don't know how we managed to pull and allnighter since there was barely anything to do.. All I remember is playing 10 fingers, walking the track, playing pick out the lie, playing apples to apples, and waiting for the damn sunrise that angela wanted to see for 1.5 hours.. And later that day was jessica's birthday party! yay lack of sleep! Omg. people kept following darren and me. It was so annoying. Everywhere we went, we'd have some sort of posse following us within 5-10 minutes Dx Even when darren, jessica, kenny, and I locked ourselves into jessica's room, people just had to force their way in -__- GAHH annoying..
I can't think of anymore exciting past events.. So I guess this is where my blogging will really start.

9/5/08

Today was a pretty shitty day :/ Not that shitty but shitty enough to make me feel down. In pe, we had bump circles and like truthfully, my group sucks. It's only delana, me, and patrick that is good. So like the others have like sharp ass angles for their bumps so they bumped one to me and I hit it while kinda diving. and it came at me again so I tried to push off the ground with my hand but ended up pushing with my thumb -__- I think I sprained it. The next thing was at the football game when I was walking back to the bleachers and like I saw erin so I went up behind her and poked her sides. From the back, I couldn't see that she was holding a drink. So when I poked her, she squeezed her drink and it squirted out -___- man I feel like a fucking ass. Another thing depressed me today.. When people (especially friends) feel awkward around me, I get pretty depressed and I guess hurt? idk. Its just me. UGHHH so depressed :/

9/4/08

Man.. I really hate my classes. Like, the first 3 periods are fricking cold as hell. So I have to bring a jacket. But once 4th period hits, it gets REALLY hot -__- mainly because I have pe :D Oh! today at the lunch line, angela was waiting in a different line. Then they closed it for some reason. So she went over to mine line which already had about 8 people in it. Once she got settled, they reopened xD what a loser. anyways. During american gov., cummins was talking about how florida looks like a penis xD hella awesome. when we walked home from school today, lorraine was talking about how she wanted to fly, and I was like you'll be like a black bird! and she said yeah! like a scarecrow! -___- oh man that made my day. When I got home, I slept from 430 to 730. When I woke up my mom was bitchy as hell. She yelled at everyone. and when my dad came home, she yelled at him too.. yay for pms. I don't want to go to senior picnic.. but.

Chyy e eah (11:15:02 PM): should i go to senior picnic?

Chyy e eah (11:15:04 PM): -__-

got errrin (11:15:07 PM): idk.

got errrin (11:15:09 PM): do you want to?

Chyy e eah (11:15:11 PM): iono

got errrin (11:15:21 PM): when is it?

Chyy e eah (11:15:24 PM): iono

Chyy e eah (11:15:27 PM): -__-

got errrin (11:15:33 PM): o.o

got errrin (11:15:35 PM): oh

got errrin (11:15:37 PM): nvm haha

Chyy e eah (11:15:43 PM): dont you hate it

Chyy e eah (11:15:44 PM): when

Chyy e eah (11:15:50 PM): your friends want you to do something

Chyy e eah (11:15:52 PM): but you dont wanna

Chyy e eah (11:15:55 PM): but they persist?

Chyy e eah (11:16:06 PM): so you end up making some stupid excuse?

got errrin (11:16:09 PM): yeah.

got errrin (11:16:26 PM): just say you dont wanna go

got errrin (11:16:33 PM): simply cuz you dont wanna haha

Chyy e eah (11:16:37 PM): ahah

Chyy e eah (11:16:43 PM): and then i get the whys -__-

Chyy e eah (11:16:44 PM): gahhh

got errrin (11:16:48 PM): ignore the why's

got errrin (11:16:49 PM): x]
yupp.. I forgot to say something yesterday. So like. erin wanted to see how much I knew about her. so she asked me straight up "what do you know about me?" I said a couple things and she said I barely knew her at all. So I promised her I would write a list for her about what I know about her and that she'd do the same for me.
You're mysterious, quiet, shy, and cute(don't you dare deny). You hide who you really are to people. You're short. You guard yourself because you'll feel vulnerable if you don't. You hate cocky people. You're a fucking musical genius. Music is your past, present, and future. You're a great artist. Everyone is your enemy... for now. For you, friends come with time. You don't like to open yourself up to people; leaves you vulnerable. You like kitties. Your nails are fricken sharp. You know how to attack people mentally and physically. You're short. You're the oldest and receive the most pressure from parents. If a ball was thrown at you, it'd probably hit you in the face. You're stubborn like a mule. It's impossible for you to get a tan. You give warm hugs. You check out guys from asian dramas. You cry during some movies. You're short. You don't forget things. You don't pry. You like pasta? You have a very, very long tongue. You talk more on aim than in real life. You vent to deal with problems. You like to snowboard. You like the cold. You like to stay away from the crowd. You care. A promise means everything to you. You bang hard. Pang can bang LOL (: You're short. You will still remember me 5 years from now. You get high when sugar is involved. You like to run away from me. You don't like people staring at you. Your laughter is always cut short. Quads are bigger than you. You're hella expensive on friends for sale.

It's all I can come up with for now:P
Oh yeah.. today, I was looking through some old things and. I found something that I truly do regret and still haunts me to this day. Not a day passes by when I don't think about it and imagine what would happen if I had reacted differently. If only I wasn't so cruel. If only I wasn't so stupid. If only.

9/3/08

Ok.. I've procrastinated blogging for like 3 days so here goes. On Monday, I played tennis in the afternoon with steven. We sucked. I think I almost blew out my wrist trying to make some beautiful shots -__- Later that night, julia, tim, erin, darren, and I went to tofu house for dinner. The food was ok but pretty expensive -__- After we ate, we went over to frozo's. Freaking tim got $9 worth of frozen ice cream.. After frozos, we walked around walgreens, checked out the intimacy section then left and went home.
The next day! school D; UGHH Actually, I totally forgot what happened on this day.. fucking procrastination.
Today! I woke up late ): I had to rush rush rush. But I still caught up with julia and tina today. :P slowpokes. All classes boring like always -__- I did all my math homework in three periods though :P I really hate wednesdays. I'm always hungry and there's not enough time for anything. During band practice, it was freaking hot as hell. I also tried to get rid of my farmer's tan :D OMFG FUCKING FLY FUCKING FLYING AROUND BOTHERING ME.. FUCKKK ITS TO HOT FOR THIS.
so yeah. next time, no procrastination.

Overview of Summer08

Because I felt that summer of 08 was the best summer I've ever had, I'm going to try to remember every memorable detail. Once school ended, I immediately went to hang out at darren's, play rock band, sleep hella late, etc. The first monday was relay for life though. now THAT was fun. For the time being, it is going to be the highlight of my summer. I stayed there overnight and pulled an allnighter. We played football at random hours of the night and before the sun had set, it was fucking hot. It got to the point where when you got a water balloon thrown at you, the water would evaporate within 10-15 minutes. I saw so many people at relay for life. There was darren, perry, alex n. and tu, jesse, basil, elizabeth ho and chi, thanh, angela, josephine, ha, michelle, michael, abraham, wilson yu, jenann, ami, and many more. When 5am hit, albert and I ran 2 miles then we had breakfast which was pancakes and deformed sausages. and that was pretty much the end of relay for life.
The next thing that happened was ohlone. I went to ohlone to take spanish3.. omggg it was like torture/cool. I didn't know anybody except for kim ngo and a few people I met there. Everyday was kinda boring b/c again, I barely knew anyone, I was basically just there. But whatever, I pulled through and stayed in that class. I didn't participate at all though... Oh yeah.. we went on a lot of trips for that class. First, we went to SF to visit MOMA to visit the Frida Kahlo gallery.. that was kinda boring. But after, we went out to eat at Mel's Diner I think? and we totally pretended that it was this girl's birthday and they gave us free stuff and everything. xD The next place we went was dinner at a mexican restaurant and salsa dancing. I only went to the restaurant and not salsa b/c I didn't have a ride. w/e.. enough of spanish. I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THAT SHIT. NO MAS DAMMIT!
The next thing was doing an sf run. It was darren, jesse, perry, and me. I think that was it :P But yeah.. we took bart up to sf. On the way, we played 10 truths and we learned some pretty interesting things -__- When we got off, we went to the westfield mall where we walked around and ditched perry a couple of times :P then we went to eat some fries. Next, we went to the metreon, then we walked by the moscone center, to this play area where perry was totally into this little 8th grader ;D Then we walked allllll the way to pier 39. We just walked there, chilled, did w/e. Then when we got bored we wanted to walk back to the bart station as fast as possible so we tried to take a shortcut.. yeah.. we hit so many fucking uphill dead ends.. We hit one dead end that was like the entrance to coit tower or something. Oh and during another dead end, perry wanted to climb down the cliff -___- that was like a fucking 10 story drop... So we walked around and when we actually got to the bart station, about an hour and a half past by. whoo fun. Then after, we got back to milpitas and darren's dad took us to obon festival where there were some pretty cute girls but most of them were taken :/ lol. We also played this game where you have to throw a ping pong ball into this cup of water.. it was kinda hard but I got a fish and jesse got 2 -__-
The next thing was going to a Giants game with darren, jessica, and kenny. That was pretty fun (: we took bart up to sf and then we had to RUNNN all the way down to the ball park. Our seats weren't that great but at least it wasn't in the outfield. The garlic fries were good but helllaaa expensive. We also took a walk around the park and it was freezing :P Later, people sitting by darren's dad left so we got their seats. omg. it was so nice, right behind home plate. Also, there was this white guy who took of his shirt and started dancing. Then there was this fat black guy who also started dancing -__- that's pretty disturbing.
The next thing was hiking up mission peak. omg that was fun and tiring. So we started hiking up at approx 7 and it was kinda chilly but once we hiked up about a mile, we got warmed up and started taking jackets off. On the way we took like 3 breaks and kenny needed to take a shit the entire time -__- there was this biker that came out of the bushes and he looked like he just took a shit there -__- also, there was soo many horse shit everywhere omg.. they totally own kenny. When we were a quarter of a mile from reaching the top, the scenery looked hella awesome, the clouds were drifting around us and it just looked cool everytime a cloud enveloped us then blew away :P At the top, we at some fruit roll ups xD and took some random ass pics. On the way down, we met tyler shiramizu's parents and later, they were running down and totally passed us. I think the hike down is much more scarier than going up b/c there's that higher risk of falling. But w/e that was fun. Next, we walked to the bus stop and rode down to tapioca/tk area where we ate. Then we went to darren's place to rockband :P
The next thing was doing endlist set on expert at darren's house. omgg that was killer. But it was way faster than when we did hard. we got better :P kenny and I slept over but jessica had to leave b/c she wanted her beaty sleep -_-
I'll add more things when I remember them :P or remind me!